Crystal Pina is the founder and CEO of an administrative and marketing services company. She asked me to review her short bio to see if it represents her and her company in the most effective way. Let’s start by taking a look at Crystal’s current bio.
Original version of Crystal’s bio
Described as a “blog doctor” by her peers, Crystal Pina made her way into the world of Social Media by designing and maintaining WordPress blogs and Blog sites.
As an entrepreneur and speaker, Crystal offers marketing support to coaches, business owners, entrepreneurs, and solopreneurs.
Crystal is the founder and CEO of StreamlineYourMarketing.co
m, a division of Visions Virtual Assistance. Crystal established Visions Virtual Assistance in 2006 to be a resource and a source of technological support to Coaches, Business Owners, Entrepreneurs and Solopreneurs who market their businesses on the internet. An administrative office management major, Crystal always had a love for things that were neat and orderly. Being a true Aquarian, Crystal combined her love for a tightly run office with her love for technology. Crystal’s passion is helping people integrate blogging, email marketing, social networking, and social media into their marketing plan.
Crystal is a self-taught expert in HTML and Cascading Style Sheets (CSS), with some knowledge of PHP and Javascript. Her team of experts helps meet all her client’s technical marketing needs.
Crystal’s clients include Reiki healers, life and business coaches, trainers, freelance independent consultants, artists, and authors. She has worked with clients in many different states in the United States as well as in Canada.
Born and raised in Massachusetts, Crystal still resides there with her husband Daniel, 5 grown children, and 5 grandchildren. In her spare time, Crystal loves to travel to warm places with palm trees.
Email Crystal now to get your business humming in the profit zone
Revised version of Crystal’s bio
Crystal Pina is the founder and CEO of StreamlineYourMarketing.co
Crystal’s passion is helping people integrate blogging, email marketing, social networking, and social media into their marketing plan. She has a talent for teaching people how to cut through all the noise and just do the things that matter. And for people who don’t have the time or interest to do it for themselves, Crystal does it for them.
An administrative office management major, Crystal always had a love for things that were neat and orderly. Being a true Aquarian, she combined her love for a tightly run office with her love for technology.
A self-taught expert in HTML and cascading style sheets (CSS), Crystal also has knowledge of PHP and Javascript. Her team of experts helps meet all her client’s technical and marketing needs.
Crystal’s clients include Reiki healers, life and business coaches, trainers, freelance independent consultants, artists, and authors. She has worked with clients in many different states in the United States as well as in Canada.
Born and raised in Massachusetts, Crystal still resides there with her husband Daniel, five grown children, and five grandchildren. In her time off she loves to travel to warm places with palm trees.
Email Crystal now to get your business humming in the profit zone.
Additional suggestions for Crystal
I like the catchiness of “Blog Doctor” but I deleted it because it creates the impression that all Crystal does is fix blogs.
I love the sentence on Crystal’s website that says “We are also entrepreneurs, just like you.” It would be effective to incorporate that sentence into the bio, perhaps as a quote. Something like this would work:
Crystal credits the success of her company to the fact that as a small businessperson herself, she understands the pressures and multiple demands her clients face. As she often says, “We get it. We are entrepreneurs, just like our clients.”
photo credit: Andy Cardiff (flickr.com/photos/finefella/)
I liked these revisions and the clarity of vision, especially the suggestion at the end. that would catch my eye . thank you for sharing this revision.
Judith